Most trans kids maintain a consistent identity, study says. Experts explain how to support them
Talbot said she is often asked when she knew she was trans, and that her answer is simple — she always knew who she was.
Her mom could see it early, too. Before she transitioned, she played with trains, but hers had tea parties. She traded her elephant Halloween costume with a friend to be Cinderella. And she loved Mulan, a girl who had to pretend to be a boy to fit in.
“There’s a lot of discussion about early childhood social transitioning, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Olson said. “Despite there being a lot of talk about it, there is surprisingly little data.”
“Hopefully, this evidence will relieve unfounded public concerns that the majority of transgender youth are not really transgender. Rather, transgender children and adolescents know who they are, and the overwhelming majority of these children and adolescents retain that identity years later.”
Retransitioning
Retransitioning is often used in conversations as a reason not to support a child’s transition, Olson said.
What if they change their minds? What if the experience of transitioning is traumatic and then they go through trauma all over again?
“Most people I personally know who have retransitioned continue to feel affiliated with and/or supportive of transgender people and communities,” she added.
Olson and other researchers are looking further into the experience of retransitioning, and the data so far shows that the emotional difficulty of the experience depends on the support the individual gets.
“The children in this study had parental support for social transition at a young age. Not all Trans+ children are so lucky,” Devor said via email.
Trust and support
When Talbot was in fifth grade, her mother found a camp for children and families to explore gender identity. That is where Talbot said she was able to put language to what she was feeling all along.
But Devin Green had to bring his parents on board with the journey.
Green was born into a conservative Jamaican household, and his family moved into a very religious group in North Carolina.
“I grew up in an environment that didn’t think it was OK for me to be different,” Green said. But by ninth grade, he felt very firm in his trans identity.
When he came out to his parents, they reacted with fear that presented as anger, he said.
“In Jamaica, people are often killed for coming out, so coming out as a member of the community in any capacity is really scary,” he said. It took some convincing before the family began investigating trans support organizations.
It can be difficult to know how to support your children when you are dealing with concerns over their physical and emotional well-being, but both Talbot and Green advised families to follow their child’s lead.
“Love your children and support them to explore what gender means to them. Trust them to find their way to their most suitable gender,” Devor said.
Get involved
Talbot, now 20, is an advocate, singer and performer. Green, 19, is getting ready to attend law school in the fall in hopes of furthering LGBTQ rights. His family members have become advocates as well, and his mother is getting a doctorate in nursing practice with a focus on LGBTQ issues.
“I’ve never looked back,” Talbot said. “That doesn’t mean that prior to my transition and post-transition life hasn’t been difficult, but the difference is … I’m facing those things as myself.”